Tag Archive | disrespect


I was beginning this post on Facebook but God spoke to me and said do it on the blog. So I complied! 

I’m really glad I did for a couple of reasons:

Everything that I need to share about this Anniversary date of March 1 deserves more space.

When I got to the website/blog, I found there was an undesirable comment. The enemy is still busy with what he does best.

Today, March 1 will forever be etched in my mind, my spirit and my heart for the remainder of my days. 

On this day 42 years ago, I left my mother’s care to begin a new life at the tender age of 21. I married a man who I KNOW loved me. He not only told me every day but he showed me every day. I HONOR his memory and legacy today!

Did we have a perfect marriage? No, no one does.
Was he a perfect man?  No, but he was perfect for me.
God had me in mind when He made him. We could not have had a better life. I am SO grateful for him for our life together.

I know he was tailor made for me because – silly me – I told him I could have made the biggest mistake of my life. I didn’t even get to hear him preach before we married! We often laughed at that. But that’s how I know he was tailor made and everything about him was perfect for me.

Were it not for him, I would never know what true love, devotion, care, concern, trust, security, compassion, friendship, forgiveness, gentleness and respect is in a relationship. This is what the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25-29:

“25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,……..”

He was the epitome of those verses.
Everything that went left in my life happened after he transitioned. Even in that, I am so grateful to God because He has shown me, without a shadow of a doubt, that when we go through trials and tribulations, they are for our good and for His glory.

On this same day two years ago, God allowed me to begin a trip across this country to begin a new chapter in my life. God allowed me to travel safely without incident while I absolutely enjoyed the journey! 

So, questions might arise about what happened?!

You may remember me saying that God sent my Chapter 2 to me. The fact is, God allowed my Chapter 2 to be a lesson for me so I can help others.

While I shared my glorious story about how God restored everything that I had lost in three years, I was the little child who said, “God you didn’t restore everything! You can’t restore my husband nor the love that we shared because he’s not coming back”. I remember saying those words so clearly. God and I would have these spats after I lost my husband. I’m so very sure at the moment I said those words, that God had to sigh. He knew what I was feeling and He was already prepared for what was to take place next.

The issue is, not only did I say those words and God heard those words, but so did the enemy! This is why it is so true that your words have power and the power of life and death is in the tongue.

There seems to be agreement among those who teach the Word of God that the enemy cannot read the thoughts in our minds. But one observes that the devil doesn’t have to read our thoughts because he put most of them in there.

However, although the enemy may not know what we are thinking, he can hear what we say, read what we write, and observe what we do.

Our negative words and actions give the enemy a legal standing in the court of heaven to use our own words and actions against us. So the enemy tempts us, entices us, lures us, waiting and watching for us to go for the bait. When we do, just like the slewfoot devil he is, he goes before God and accuses us in an attempt to gain permission to inflict misery upon us.

What I do know is that God is in control and the enemy has to seek His permission to touch his servants. As with most spiritual issues, it’s up to us to choose to partner with God. There is a part that we must do first, before God will do the part that only He can do. We have to know the ways of the enemy, and equip ourselves with the “Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.”

So, yes I failed miserably but God cleaned it up and protected and provided for me. See, He knew even when I traveling here what I was going to encounter for 14 months but He stayed right there with me.

The enemy tried to desecrate my wedding anniversary and get me to leave God’s side, His plan for my life and the blessings He has for me. 

The enemy only needs a crack or a door to slip into and he did just that by those words I spoke. I opened the door and let him right in but God closed that door!

You all know who I am. Some of you have known me for 50 years and many have known me for over 30 years. I’ve grown but I haven’t changed much.

I was talking to a group of high school friends yesterday. One of them I knew since we were in the 4th grade. I mentioned something to her about who I am and she had to admit, yea, that’s true. My heart is still my heart. This is the heart that God gave me even before I learned to trust Him completely. I don’t have an on/off switch on my heart. You can mistreat me and I will still love you. People ask how I can love when I’ve been mistreated. You would have to ask God that question.

For 14 months in the sunny state of Nevada, I went through physical, emotional, verbal, spiritual and financial abuse. This was supposed to be my Chapter 2 with someone who said he loved and cherished me. Instead, it was a lesson.

How can a person say they love another but fail to do what the Word teaches? This is a person who says that they are “walking with God…with peace and pleasure”. So, shouldn’t I have been loved as he loves himself? No man has hated his own flesh. 

I have a degree in psychology and I missed the signs. There are people who have narcissistic traits and I missed them.
I learned what those traits are in school but I had never experienced them. I had the theory but not the practice. God has allowed me to do so much research since 2020, gain my 2020 vision and align the theory with the practice. It was also my year of victory. It actually turned out to be a year of victory! I spoke those words at the beginning of 2020 and God fulfilled them.

Look for my book coming out later this year dealing with the life I lived.

We must have a battle plan to counterattack strategies used by the enemy to keep us defeated. If you ever served in the military, you know they would never think about going to war without a battle plan. You need the same with the enemy. You need strategies to exploit the enemy’s weaknesses and maximize your strengths so you can win. We all have a spiritual enemy and he has waged war against us.

Kenneth Copeland has said this:

“As Christians, we know Jesus has already defeated Satan for us (Colossians 2:15), but that doesn’t mean Satan isn’t going to use certain strategies to try and trick us into believing otherwise. His strategies are intended to keep us defeated and to take everything that is rightfully ours.

This is where some Christians are deceived. They say, “The enemy is already defeated,” then lie down and take a whipping. If we had no responsibility to stand our ground against the devil’s schemes, then God would not have told us to “resist the devil” (James 4:7) or to use “the weapons of our warfare” (2 Corinthians 10:4, KJV), and He would have had no need to give us “authority over all the power of the enemy” (Luke 10:19).” 

So the enemy certainly visited me to steal, kill and destroy. Jesus told some unbelievers, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies”. Rather than bring life, he tried to bring death. Rather than give, he tried to steal. Rather than build up, he tried to destroy.

So, yes I failed. I know you have heard the saying that you tried to bury me but you didn’t know I was a seed.

I can take it a step further. I gave up my dreams and my life to become someone else’s dreams and life and mine were crushed to the ground. I lost myself and my soul. I was expected to die. But the dirt that was thrown on me is being used by God to help me to grow and rebuild. God is telling me to stand and not buckle under the weight and pressure of the dirt because He is lifting, raising and elevating me to levels I have never known before. And I won’t even look dirty!!! 

I am so sorry that many of you were so happy for what I was entering into by relocating to a new state. I bless your hearts for that! But God re-wrote my story, turned my pain into power, my tests into testimonies and my agony into aspiration!

Emily Dickinson said that March is a month of expectation.
In 1979, I received everything that was promised to me!
In 2019, forty years later, I received so much more than I ever bargained for – God’s grace, mercy, guidance, direction, provision, protection and unfailing love!


If you are looking for a speaker who will impact your audiences as she shares getting through their pain to their power, their tests to their testimonies and their agony to their aspirations, please think of The FIRST lady.

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I can be reached at firstlady@firstladyministries.org or at 973-214-1136.

God bless you on your NEW journeys!


Denyse H. Turner, D.H.L., M.P.H., M.A., ACC
Certified Inner Healing Minister/Counselor/Coach
Certified Christian Family Counselor
Public Speaker/Author/Grantwriter/Ghostwriter/Trainer/Counselor/Faith-Based Travel Educator
First Lady and Chief Connector at Dr. Gregory C. Turner, Late Pastor of Christ Temple Baptist Church

First Lady helping others win!

I am picking up ministry where my husband left off!