I feel the need to share a couple of things. It’s a little lengthy but bear with me.
As I’ve traveled to bring messages of hope along with my story, I tell people that I’ve come to love, know and trust God. People look at me strangely because they may know I’ve been in church for 60 years. You didn’t love, know and trust God before??
Let me explain. I’ve never had any trauma in my life as great as what I’m experiencing. Trauma is an event outside normal human experience that is beyond our control and may cause us to feel intense anger, fear, horror or a sense of helplessness or shame. Yes, I felt all of that! The act is not the trauma but its our reaction to it.
But God has allowed me to learn more about Him and trust in Him completely! He has made ways of which I stand in awe. Yes, I trusted Him to take care of my family, to feed us, to clothe us, to keep us healthy, etc. You know all of the things that we “testify” about.
But having a DEEP hurt and DEEP pain truly leads you higher. God has taken me to a new dimension. Most of us say He’s taking us to a new level. But levels are flat. I would rather say dimension because dimensions include length, breadth, height and depth.
I lost my best friend that I met in kindergarten. That’s 55 years. That pain is excruciating enough. But add betrayal that was done to my husband and me on top. NEVER experienced a trauma so great!
To say I was angry is putting it mildly. But God made me realize that I was not fighting flesh and blood. It wasn’t “people” who betrayed us. I was fighting against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. THAT’S where my attention had to be focused. I re-learned that everything that has happened to me, God was present, He has allowed them and He has my best interests at heart.
But when you experience trauma, there is a window of opportunity to release that pain. That window is only 24-72 hours. If the pain is not dealt with, the effects of trauma may be entrenched and stored away – later causing bitter roots to develop. If that window of opportunity is lost, it has to be re-opened through healing prayer. God will release the anger, shock, fear, terror and shame and replace it with His peace. I’m a witness!
Its often said that HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. But if you allow God to remove it, hurt and betrayal will not damage you.
I made a post today about forgiving people. One of the most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable.
Many times we make excuses for not forgiving like “how can I forgive if I can’t stop being angry?’ Forgiveness is not the cessation of anger. It is CHOOSING to give assent to Christ’s work on the cross. Then we say “I’ll forgive but not forget”. NO WHERE in scripture does it say we must forget. In fact, remembering protects us in the future.
But how many times has the Father forgiven us?? Think about it. Matthew 6:14-15 says “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”
If you do not forgive, you are not forgiven. How many transgressions are you holding onto because God has not forgiven you because you have not forgiven somebody else?
These things need to be brought to death on the cross while bringing life in Christ.
God is leading me to develop this new ministry, picking up where my husband left off.
People have developed personal strongholds, sinful reactions to hurt and betrayals, critical and condemning judgments of others, refusal or inability to forgive others, recurring life and behavior patterns such as job losses, personal characteristics which you resented, disliked or hated in the primary people who raised you, etc.
Many times we say “I forgive you” or “I’m fine” but its just lip service. Jesus commands us in Luke to “dig deep” into the foundations of our lives to put to death each situation. You cannot just “forget what lies behind” because deeply ingrained attitudes have damaged our hearts without us even knowing.
He has lead me to certification as an Inner Healing Minister. If you know of someone who can use assessment, or if even you would like to get assessed, please call me at 973-214-1136 or email me at email@example.com.
I love you and there is nothing you can do about it!